I was reminded of someone today. Someone I dearly wish to forget but somehow cannot. This someone has successfully wounded me in every possible way. Completely untrustworthy and completely dangerous if left to her own devices.
Guilty of all the above: Me.
I was reminded of this "old man" this morning while sharing the story of how God rescued me from myself with someone I love very much. And again reminded tonight as I was driving my little brother home after a late movie. I was trying to explain the power of the Sword- how it divides bone and marrow, yet brings the deepest healing. I was explaining how it has the power to cut our flesh when he gave a dramatic "ouch!" I couldn't help but smile. I continued (somewhat in vain) to explain that our flesh metaphorically refers to our sinful nature or "natural man." I'm not exactly sure how much a 10 year old little brother can understand about metaphors but at least I tried, right?
Our whole conversation got me thinking about who I used to be. The "old man," or should I say woman, that I am so desperate to say goodbye to...on a much more permanent rather than temporary basis. John's words played through my head, "He must increase, but I must decrease." The closer I get to the spotless Lamb, the more precious those words become. The words become an embodiment of something much more vivid. He who desires to increase in our innermost being will lead us gently to our death. He does not force or coerce. But he simply offers his hand with the question, "Will you go with me even unto death?" Many times I have rejected this tender offer, only to find myself glaring painfully at the person I described above- monstrous, untamed, and wildly out of control. She is everything I never wanted to be. What a desperate place we all find ourselves in when we have rejected the loving hand of our Father. Forgive me!
Thankfully, I find him right where I left him. "Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, behold, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, you are there! If I fly on the wings of the dawn, If I settle on the far side of the sea- even there, your hand will guide me. Your right hand will hold me fast." It is your kindness O Merciful One, that leads me to repentance. You are the good shepherd. When we wander from you, you leave the 99 to find us. When-not if- you find me, you break my leg and place me around your shoulders. During the time it takes to heal, the sheep is carried by the shepherd everywhere. When the leg has healed, the shepherd puts it down with the rest of the herd. The sheep will never leave the shepherd because he lay his head on the shepherds heart during his healing. He does not forget the one who rescued him.
The "cutting" or removal of this old body is painful, but the gain is priceless. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?
Do not resist his calling. You have everything to lose and eternity to gain.
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