Feliz Navidad



Christmas day at our Church

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and enjoyed the time you spent with your friends and family. We celebrated Christmas Eve with our friends Hank and Nadine and their children. I wish I could post pictures of them for you but for security reasons I can’t. Please know that we are basking in your prayers and soaking up the blessings from them. Earlier last week we found out the Nadine has TMJ which explains all of her symptoms. The doctor advised her to see a dentist for a mouth guard to allow her jaw to rest during the night while she sleeps. Anita made an appointment with her dentist, Adela, who knows Anita is a Christian but does not believe herself. She x-rayed Nadine’s mouth, found wisdom teeth that need to be removed and two severe cavities. Praise God she did not charge her for any of these services! We are praying for wisdom about what Nadine should do next. I went with them to watch the kids in the reception area and Anita was there to make sure Nadine understood all that was going on. Needless to say, there were three very happy women who walked out of that office that day. The Lord is so kind to take care of us. She needs to have teeth removed and cavities filled before she can have her mouth guard made. Pray for her to have wisdom about what to do. There is a clinic that might take her wisdom teeth out for free (Spain has socialized healthcare). However, she does not have money to pay the dentist for cavity removal or for the mouth guard which costs 190 Euros. We are praying for a miracle and waiting for God to act mightily. Hank and Nadine are also in the process of trying to renew their residency papers. The lawyer who helps at the Mission told them that they will need to prove that they have money to stay in the country….which they cannot do. So here I am, Lord…with my hands full of impossible things. Haven’t I come to the right place?

I finally made it to the beach on Christmas day!



Fast forward to Christmas…It was precious! I loved watching them all open their gifts- especially the 2 year old! I put tooth brushes in their stockings and she loved her pink tooth brush! She opened it right away and started brushing her teeth. Children are such a gift from the Lord. They remind us of the simplicity of life. Now, I understand what the Lord meant when he said we have to have faith like a child to enter the kingdom of heaven.



Lydia invited us for Christmas dinner on Sunday

Tonight I met with Rafael and Alfredo from the language exchange. Alfredo is a Christian so it is nice to hear his perspective on Christianity in Spain. Rafael believes in God and Jesus but doubts the validity of the scriptures and the “infantile” stories of the Bible. You may remember that I have mentioned him in previous posts. He teaches economics at the University here and is a very kind man. He was raised in the Catholic Church and is a very good man. Tonight we talked about the “inconsistencies” of the Bible. He seems to be disappointed in or let down by God. He could hardly believe that God would choose to make woman from a rib. He seemed to think that the stories of the Old Testament were primitive and irrelevant. How could carnivores and herbivores have lived on the ark peacefully for such a long time? Or, how could millions of species of animals live on the ark together? We also talked about Jesus’ humanity and deity, the Hypostatic Union. Rafael could not understand how Jesus could be God and yet pray to, speak to, and petition God at the same time. Are any of you starting to feel sorry for me, yet? I suppose my college education is paying off.



Charo invited us to Lunch on Monday with her friend Tere

 When we talked about the creation of Eve, he said it seemed as if God was making something that he had forgotten. On the contrary, God had purposely waited to make woman. Unlike the mates in the animal kingdom, Adam and Eve were different. Man was the pinnacle of his creation and unlike anything else he had made because man was made in his image. Man was to serve as mirror for all of creation to look into and behold the Creator. He began his relationship with man through the creation of the woman. He brought every animal to Adam to name and see. But when Adam finished naming the animals he saw “none was like him.” God allowed man to feel or sense that he had a need. Only when Adam realized there was no one like him did God provide a helper suitable, woman. When Adam awoke, he beheld a beautiful gift from the Lord, reflecting yet another side of God that Adam would learn to discover. In this moment, I believe that God displayed his masculine features. Adam’s response praised God’s choice for him, “she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.” He realized she was meant for him and he for her. Together they would display the beauty we are meant to experience with God. Sadly, Rafael said that this was a forced interpretation. I couldn’t believe that he could reduce something so breathtakingly beautiful to a “forced interpretation.” It broke my heart. The Bible is the most intricately designed method of God’s communication of his great love for us and Rafael reduces it to childish stories of tribal imagination. I think I need to get some C.S. Lewis into this man’s hands…I am certainly no apologist, nor do I desire to be but I think he needs some answers. If any of you have any suggestions, please feel free to share. 

Anita, Tere, Charo, & Chris



Please pray for Rafael…I fear that his inquiring mind will never find relief if faith doesn’t intervene. He needs a personal and unforgettable encounter with the Most High God.

Also, pray for my family as they prepare to visit. They leave the States on Friday and arrive here in Valencia on Saturday afternoon. I am SO excited to see them. I can hardly believe I will only be here two and a half more weeks…Unfortunately; I still do not have any direction from the Lord about where to go from here. Although I think about it, somehow I have peace about this hour of waiting. It’s nice not being on the throne in your own life. It’s seems like such an appropriate and settled feeling. Thank you, Lord for having quieted my once restless soul. You words are better to me than life and your kindness is much more than I could have ever deserved.

Seasons of Change

Thank you for your prayers! My back and neck are doing much better. Your health is so important! It is amazing how much I feel like doing when I’m feeling better. Although, after hearing from my friend Cecilia who is spending some time in India, I thanked God for his protection over my health. She wrote me and told me about stomach pains that send her to her knees, lice and other health issues. Her friends are praying over her for restoration of health. I realized how difficult access to clean water and safe food is where she is. It was good to hear from her- we have been encouraging one another during our time away from our family and friends.

We continue to meet with Loli (Equatorial Guinea-Spanish colony) on Friday mornings to study the Bible. She has a special attachment to Anita and was so worried about her when she was sick last week. This week she brought names of people that she knew who did know Jesus personally. We prayed that God would give her opportunities to share the Gospel with them throughout her week. Loli asked Anita when she would come to her country to teach the young people how to study the Bible. Perhaps Loli will return to her country and teach them what we have taught her… Until then, does anyone want to go to Equatorial Guinea and teach the people about Jesus?

After Loli left, we had Gerson (pronounced Hair-sone), the Lawyer who helps the people at the mission with their immigration papers and Emilio, the director of the Mission, over for lunch. It was interesting to hear about the difficulties that the immigrants go through when they come to Spain. Lying is such a huge part of getting anything done with the Spanish government. It is extremely frustrating when we are trying to teach the people to follow God’s commands and tell the Truth. Today the new Spanish President Mariano Rajoy Brey takes his office. Pray that God will direct this man to reverse the corruption that the former government has brought in.

Yesterday was a tough day for Mission Urbana. We found out that the Mission will be closed for the next two weeks and that the Casa de Acogida will be closing at the first of the year. It seems that the economic crisis in Spain has extended itself to yet another part of the Mission. I had heard that they were out of money for awhile but I wasn’t expecting them to close down the Piso (apartment/house). This is currently where our friend Marek is staying and where many other potential disciples come to live until they find jobs and obtain residency papers to stay in the country. Thankfully, Marek told us a few weeks ago that the Lord had provided a job for him in a town a few hours away. God is so good to provide for us at just the right moment! He truly does know each of our needs before we have need of them.

Later that night we went to the language exchange with Rebecca (fellow missionary here in Spain for 20 years) and her parents who recently moved to Valencia from Phoenix, AZ. Paul and Diane are so sweet and we are thrilled that they have decided to come to Spain to preach the Gospel—did I mention they are in their mid-70’s?? Truly, Amazing! They have shown me that it is never too late to follow the Lord is obedience and that our entire lives are meant to be an offering to the Lord- not just the days of our youth. Please pray for them as they look for an apartment and adjust to life in Spain.

The language exchange wasn’t as busy as it normally is and for that I was thankful. It is difficult to have meaningful conversations with people when there are so many people trying to practice their English. Last night there were about 5 or 6 men who sat at my table. They usually range in age from early 20’s to mid-50’s. I try to choose a topic or theme for them to talk about because it makes it easier for them to practice their English. Carlos, a usual speaker, enjoys controversial conversations so I like to encourage topics involving things I know he feels passionately about. We talked about bull fighting in Spain and differences in socialized and private healthcare (he works for an insurance company) and politics… so after we finished these topics I decided we had covered the usual controversial subjects except Religion. Throughout the evening I can usually tell those who believe in God and those who don’t before we begin talking about these things. Tonight there were 3 at my table who didn’t believe in God. I don’t like to press the topic but rather let it flow and see how the people respond to it. Surprisingly, when we would drift into another subject, Carlos (atheist) was the one who directed the conversation back to religion and God. However, tonight Alfredo, a believer and Spaniard, was sitting at my table. We talked about the differences between religion and a true relationship with God. Then, Alfredo began to speak about how he became a Christian. I had never heard his testimony so it was a pleasant surprise to hear him speak. I was so thankful that he was there because the men who claimed to be Atheists really connected with him. He told us that he had not grown up as a Christian and that his parents were not Christians either (this is rare in Spain because usually most of the true believers are only believers because their parents come from generations of “rebellious” Protestants). He was tired of religion and the Church but said that one day he thought that although religious institutions in Spain were corrupt, maybe God was not. He began researching different religions, read the Qur’an and the New Testament, and the Lord began to speak to him. It is interesting to note that he found a relationship with God because he read the Word of God. This is the only thing that changes us. When we allow the Word of God to speak to us instead of man, then our lives are changed. I know that those men will go away thinking about what he said. Pray that Alfredo’s words would sift through every corner of their hearts and minds so that they might find Eternal Life in Jesus Christ.

I want to take a moment to talk to those of you who are reading from Russia, France, Bulgaria, and any other countries that may be reading this. I pray that these words would change your hearts as well. If you want to talk more about a relationship with Jesus Christ rather than a life of religion that you may have always known- please do not hesitate to e-mail me. A relationship with Jesus is free. Jesus paid for our sins once for all when he died on the cross. He is our great high priest and if you ask him to cleanse you from your sins and come to live in your heart- He will! He wants you to experience his forgiveness and love so that you can begin to live abundantly with him. Truly, there is no greater love and no greater freedom that you will ever experience.

Waking the Dead

I can´t believe it´s already December! Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming!

This weekend, Anita and I went to Barcelona (thank God we did not get pick-pocketed!) to visit the city before I visited our director in Santa Coloma, Spain. We toured the city and enjoyed some cooler weather as we walked through the street markets. There were Christmas trees, nativities, holiday gifts and decorations. The architecture was amazing as well. We saw the famous Sagrada Familia, a cathedral designed by Gaudi to depict the life of Christ through his birth, life, death, and resurrection. The cathedral has been under construction for over 100 years! How sad to invest so much time, money, and work in something that means absolutely nothing. The peoples hearts remain unmoved and untouched by this man´s brief life here on earth. I couldn´t help but think about my own life and all of the fruitless endeavors I labor tirelessly to complete. How much of what I am investing my time in means anything at all with eternity in view?

While visiting the famous cathedral, we stopped to see some artwork from an artist selling paintings of scenes in Barcelona. They were beautiful and reasonably priced so I bought some. He was very kind and allowed us to talk to him about a relationship with Jesus. He even allowed us to take a picture to remember him by. He nodded vigorously that he understood that a relationship with Jesus was not the same as being a good, religious person but as always, it is difficult to know for sure.

After our stay in Barcelona, I took the train further north to visit Lauren and Terri (directors of Spain at GEM and ministering in Santa Coloma, Spain). It was nice to see countryside and houses again. On Saturday we all went to France for the day to have some lunch and visit the little town across the boarder. Can you imagine being able to say,¨"Let´s go to France for lunch today"? I think I could do that. The food was delicious and the people were very friendly. We walked around, stopping in some of the shops and enjoying the beautiful day.

Sunday, we visited with their friends David and Raquel who grew up as Protestants in Catalonia. It was interesting talking to them and hearing their opinions of the hearts of the people and their openness to the Gospel. To be quite honest it was probably the most depressing, frightening thing I've ever heard. He explained that religion has been such a part of Spanish history that the peoples hearts have become calloused. Many of the people are so tired of religion because those who profess to be Christians only live a lie. Those representing the believers of the church have only continually used religion as a means of achieving power, money and political gain. I must admit that if my country were like that then maybe I wouldn't want anything to do with God either. I suppose there are many instances where this is true in American culture but I don't think I ever saw it in this way before.

Maybe it frustrated me the most because it presented me with a challenge that I deemed impossible to conquer- I hate those! But I suppose this is the best recipe for God to truly get the glory. I have found that it is when I am left with nothing else that I seem to truly find the Lord. When I have nothing left to reach for- I can reach for him. Sadly, it is in my nature to reach for everything else first and then when I have found nothing to hold onto- I reach for him. Isn't that pathetic? I know it would be easy to say that we all do that but it doesn't make it any more of an excuse or any less pathetic. Do you ever just get tired of living? Don't get me wrong- I love life but sometimes it just gets old. This world is so disappointing, so fruitless, and so full of death. As humans we live trapped inside these fleshly bodies that constantly war against us and yet have no means of truly escaping until death. I realize it isn't popular to talk about subjects so depressing but I don't really think that people think enough about the depraved state of mankind. Because if we truly thought about where we really were...we might begin to understand what a gift our salvation really is. If there is no depravity, no desperation, no hopelessness or loss- then the blood of Jesus is no longer something precious but something of a mockery. But it isn't a mockery at all...it is so sweet. It's the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me...All that being said I didn't realize all of this until I saw it through someone elses life. It's funny how when your perspective changes, you see things much more clearly.

Anita and Chris were sick this week so it was an opportunity to rest and relax. This week there were two holidays in Spain. Tuesday was the Constitution day and Thursday was the Assumption of Mary. I cannot begin to express the differences between Catholicism in America and Catholicism in Europe. I wish that all believers could visit this continent so that they could understand why so many people want nothing to do with God or any religious institution. Last week, when I was at the language exchange, I talked with Carlos about the existence of God. Remember that Carlos does not believe in God or in his existence. He wondered how God could allow humans to make mistakes or be tempted. So I presented an analogy to him. "Pretend that there is a girl that you love and want to marry. She is commanded or made to love you. Now, do you want to marry her?" He replied that he did not want to marry her and when asked why he said that if she was made to love him then it would not really be love. How interesting... God feels the same way. Why would he want to create something that was made to love him? If we had the choice to choose to obey him to convey that we loved him then he would know that we truly loved him. Unfortunately, Carlos argued that it wasn't the same...how sad. I wish people could see how real the Lord is and how much we truly are a reflection of who he is. Please continue to pray that this young man's eyes would be opened to a life he has never known before...a life set ablaze with freedom and passion for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Today, we celebrated Anita's, Hank's, and my birthday. Since we all have birthday so close together we decided to celebrate together. It was a wonderful gift and I loved spending with people I love so dearly. Anita made a carrot cake for all of us- candles and all! Unfortunately, I cannot post picture of Hank and his family who were there with us for their protection. This is a picture of Anita and I with our cake and the blue roses I bought her- she loves blue. I wish you all could have been there but somehow I don't think it would have meant as much to you as it did to me. It really is the simple things in life that bring so much joy. Thank you, Lord for the beauty of friendship and fellowship that can only be truly known and experienced when we share the gift of your son.

The Lord is on his Throne

I wrote this a week ago but just had a moment to publish it...

Mi cabeza está llena! My head is full…I know I am a thinker by nature but today seemed to be a particularly full of thinking. Yesterday, I went to visit Nadine for a few hours. There really are no words to describe the heaviness I feel for her…I absolutely hate feeling so utterly helpless. I am a “doer”- for those of your reading this who know me well- try to contain your laughter. Usually, I only see her when we get together to study the Bible or at church so I wanted to come by to visit without an agenda. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to be a woman in a foreign land with many cares and worries and no outlet for communication with other women. So we talked…about life. She talked for a little while until her voice cracked and she held her head in her hands to cry. With tears streaming down my face I wrapped my arms around her and whispered, “Esos abrazos son como los abrazos de Jesus para ti.” These arms are as the arms of Jesus for you… And I cry even more now than I did then because I know inside her heart is hurting. Every night her eyes look to heaven when she lies down at night wondering when the Lord will open his storehouses and hear her cry. There is no work in Spain. Everyone is looking for a job. For now, her husband will work every day for at least 12 hours picking oranges for less than $10 a day. If it rains, there is no work and he must pay 4 Euros. Their son does not have legal papers and will need over 1,000 Euros very soon. Then there is monthly rent for their apartment, utilities, the toilet is broken, transportation, etc. She can’t talk to her family because they are Christians now and persecute her. My American mind wants so badly to give her all of my money…but I know the answer to these problems is not money. If it were then the Lord could have paid the ransom for our sins in whichever currency he preferred. I know that it is only in difficult times that we truly learn to trust him but in that moment with her I could not be spiritual. All of the right words left me and I could only feel the despair and cry with her. What could I say? Could I sit there and say that everything will be fine and God is good? In my heart I cried out to the Lord, “How long, oh Lord? How long will you wait to answer them?” I know that the Lord desires intimacy with us above all else and uses our distresses to teach us but I don’t want them to suffer anymore. I want her to sleep peacefully at night. I want her to stop having ear infections and headaches from worrying every day how she will ever see goodness in this life. So from the time that I got up this morning, I have thought little of anything else save the words of a song stuck in my head: “y los angeles le adoran y los serafines cantan- Santo es el Senor!  Él está en su trono…” The angels adore him and the seraphim sing, ‘Holy is the Lord!’ He is on his throne.

 Even as I type I hear the words of Jeremiah, “Is there no balm in Gilead?” Gilead was a city renowned for its healing balm yet they were a people in need of healing. Jeremiah cried out to the LORD who heals, Jehovah Rafa, and asked him to heal this broken people. Thank you, Lord, for reminding: there is healing and it only comes from you. My heart breaks because I need you so much and I am among a people that need you terribly. Won’t you rend the heavens and come down? Will you not answer the cries of your children and draw them out of the pit. Watching their lives remain in ruin is a miserable task. Why did you send me here? Of all people, I know you are not without compassion. Lord, I wish you could have been there to hold us both. I am not strong enough…

I remember when you drew me out…I remember when you taught me how to love you. Teach them quickly, Lord. The hour for your coming is nearer now then it was then and they have many stories that need telling…So that one more might come to know you, Jesus.

Crocodiles

  Since last Friday marked the final week of my language school training, Chris and Anita took me to visit a beautiful city about two hours north of Valencia called Albarracin. Actually, I’m not entirely sure it was a reward for finishing school but that is my story and I’m sticking to it. The city was breathtaking. I didn’t realize how much I had missed seeing land, mountains, and flowing water. The city was everything I ever imagined that Spain would look like. Large stone walls scaled the mountainside around the little city that lay below. We walked all through the city, stopping here and there in little shops and corridors to see what the little town had to offer our glimmering eyes. Can you tell that I never grew up?
While we were there, we met two men from North Africa. To one we gave a Jesus film and the other an Injil (Arabic NT). They told us there were only a few people from their country living in Albarracin. The men we met were cousins. One worked in a small shop that sold souvenirs from the city and the other was our waiter in the small restaurant where we ate dinner. Whenever we ask a Muslim if they would be interested in reading an Injil, we remind them that the Qur’an teaches that it is a holy book and should be read by all Muslims. I am learning a lot about Islam while I am here. For example, this weekend I learned that Islam operates on a different time table than the rest of the world. We live in the year 2011 because we mark the ending of B.C. and the beginning of A.D. with Christ’s birth. Since the Muslims believe that Mohammad is the true prophet of God, they begin their years with Mohammad’s life. Can you imagine becoming a Christian after having lived your entire life so completely opposed to the ways of the one true God? I find that I must continually remember who I formerly was as Paul says, in order to understand what our dear friends must be going through.
 
When we arrived home on Saturday evening there was much to do. I don’t think I ever realized how much work it is to be a missionary. These people NEVER stop! I’m young and I need a rest! Sometimes I wonder how they do it… We even went to the Internet café to talk to a man we met a few days prior from Pakistan (Muslim). We wanted to see if he would be interested in reading the Injil. He was interested but seemed a bit hostile. Pray for “Allen” as he reads the only words of truth he has ever seen. Since it seems he was not willing to talk to us, we are praying that God will move mightily as he reads those words. Pray that this living book will beckon him to discover its rich Truths.
   
Ngor, Chris and Anita’s first disciple Spain, also came to visit us this weekend. He works in a city several hours south of Valencia where he herds sheep. He is from Senegal and has not been home to see his family in over 6 years. He will finally return this Thursday and is praying for God to open his father’s heart to receive Christ. Ngor’s family worships idols and needs to know the freedom that Jesus’ blood can bring. He also plans to marry a girl from his country while he is there. Ngor explained that she wants to know how to have a relationship with Jesus- pray that the Lord will draw her heart to his and that Ngor will only enter into a marriage with a woman with whom he is confident loves the Lord as much as he does.

We were also celebrating Chris’s birthday! It was a blessing to have Ngor visit during this special occasion. You may remember that I included a picture of Ngor and Chris in my very first prayer letter, prior to my arrival in Spain. It was exciting for me to finally meet him in person after hearing so much about him. When I told him my name, he laughed and began to explain what my name meant in his language. At first I thought he said a small sea animal like a conch or shelled fish…then as he kept repeating the name in Spanish- “Cocodrilo, Cocodrilo”…I finally realized that it wasn’t something pretty at all…it was a scary, ugly Crocodile! You can imagine my disappointment. Then I explained to him what my named really meant. I told him that in Hebrew it comes from the word Iscah meaning God sees. I also told him that there was a name of God with this meaning as well, El Roi- the God who sees. I told him the story of Hagar when she left after being mistreated by Sarah and was found by God in the wilderness. He gave her water and told her of the great nation within her womb. He told her to return to her mistress and she responded in awe, “You are the God who sees!” I much prefer this story over the crocodile, don’t you? Anyway… after I got over being named after a Crocodile, we laughed and talked and ate until we couldn’t eat anything more. I do love a good party!
Last week Anita asked me to teach Hank & Nadine how to study their Bible Inductively, meaning to learn to study God’s word for themselves rather than continuing to depend on others to “feed” them. Oh dear… If they learned anything it truly is because the Lord taught them. It was very difficult for me to try to gather what I thought was most important to begin with. Language is also a barrier…there are many words that I needed to use that I only knew in English that really didn’t translate into Spanish. Remember that they speak French and Arabic…Ay yay yay! So with Anita’s help I did my best to break down the important concepts while she translated. So there we were…with our Spanish/Arabic dictionary, my English Bible, and the Lord who speaks every language. These are the moments when I wish I could speak in tongues. We are studying the life of Abraham. I love this study because it is such a perfect picture of the life of the believer. In many ways, I believe that Hank and Nadine will be able to identify with this man and his family simply because the Lord also called him out when he knew nothing of the One who spoke to him. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will teach them how to find the treasures that God has hidden for them in his word. My heart longs for them to taste and see that the Lord is good- because that is all I ever needed…one taste and I was hooked. I never wanted to live my life any other way.

I never realized the importance of praying for the scales to be removed from their eyes. And yet, in many ways our exposure to the word of God has left many of us blinded with the same scales of deception because we heard the word of God and did not obey.  There are so many biblical truths that I take for granted.Thank you, Lord for giving me the privilege of being born in a Christian nation. The Bible tells us that in the last days God will send a deluding spirit upon those who did not receive a love for the Truth. God help me to love your words and count them as treasures rather than words of offense. There is no life without you…

La Vida sin Ganas

Finally! I am writing a new post. I’m sorry I have not updated in over a week but I was sick for several days and was a little out of commission. This is my last week of language school! I am learning a lot but I am ready to be finished with school. I can hardly believe I have been here almost 4 weeks! There is so much to tell you I don’t know where to start. First let me say that I did consent to finally going to the doctor last Thursday…she gave me antibiotics and something for my congestion. I have to say that the overall experience was quite pleasant. The doctor’s office was very clean and the doctor spent a fair amount of time with me. Then on Monday I had to go to see the dentist because I was pretty sure I had some cavities…long story why I didn’t get that taken care of in the States…I know what you are thinking. But anyway I went and again- another pleasant experience. She saw me almost immediately, found the cavity and filled it. I don’t think I was even there an hour. OK- one more random experience then I will get to the point- I met a couple from Texas tonight at the language exchange and I was ELATED to say the least. Just being near them made me feel closer to that wonderful state. Haha- I’m sure you all will enjoy that. Rick here working for NATO and is about to retire. He and his wife Sarah will be moving back to Texas soon…Until I can return to the Lone Star State I will just have to live vicariously through them.

Now! On to more important things- Tonight, Anita and I went to the language exchange again. We were both a little discourage before we went in because the last time we were there (two weeks ago- I was sick and could not go last week and she stayed home to take care of me) it was very noisy and very difficult to hear the people- which makes it very difficult to talk about spiritual things. So before we went in we prayed and asked the Lord to give us boldness as well as an atmosphere in which we could speak about his love for the people. Anita is always telling me, “You have not because you ask not.” The Lord certainly answered our prayer!

I was so pleased with the conversations we had I could hardly stand it! I usually try to listen to the topics that the people talk about in order to better understand certain aspects of their character, as well as the cultural norms that they adhere to. One of the girls who was there a few weeks ago, Marian was talking about her time in London. She said that the people in the UK seem to drink constantly beyond enjoyment. I thought this was very interesting since drinking is so much a part of Spanish/ European culture. She explained that the people seemed to drink constantly and abundantly. The girl she stayed with surprised her because she was very serious during the week and became a completely different person on the weekends. Marian said that she would drink until she could drink no more and bring home a different strange man every night. And here is where I saw my opportunity. I asked Marian if she thought the girl’s behavior was a good thing. She replied that if it made the girl happy then it was fine with her- How sad. I persisted to ask if Marian would do the same thing and she said no. Then I shared my thoughts with the rest of the people sitting around us. They were all about 25-27 years old. I asked them why they thought the girl behaved this way-”maybe she likes it,” they answered. I shook my head in disbelief- no one who spends their life working every day of the week as one person and drinking and having sex with random strangers on the weekends as another person “likes” what they are doing. Their lives are empty and they are miserable. Apparently, the word miserable in Spanish is the same only pronounced differently. They could not believe the word carried the same meaning in both languages. The word must be very strong in Spanish. There is such a facade in Spain. The people acknowledge the economic crisis yet deny the spiritual crisis that exists in their hearts. They refuse to use words such as miserable because it uncovers the state they really live in. I told them that it was sad that they girl in London lived her life like that and proceeded to ask them what advice they might give to her. “Do you ever feel like this life is meaningless and repetitive?” Some of them nodded their heads. I certainly feel that way- but my only consolation is that someday I can be with my heavenly Father forever and that he gives me his words to sustain me for the moment. Everything else in this life is meaningless…didn’t a wise man say that once? Everything is vanity and chasing after the wind. At the end of his life he ascertained two things: Fear God and keep his commandments. Sitting with them in that moment, I thought about my own life. I thought about my dreams, my future, my family- all of them things that give meaning to my life. But none of them things are that truly satisfy my soul. At the end of the day, just as every man or woman, I feel the emptiness of life that this world offers. Jesus is the only being that separates me from the rest of the young men and women who sat around me tonight. In my heart I felt the frustration that came with trying to combat the distrust that Catholicism has brought to the hearts of the people. I tried to explain that religion was not the same as a relationship with Jesus. Religion is man’s attempt to get to God- but this can never be. God sent his son to us because he knew our arms could never reach the heights of his galaxies. Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except by me.” Catholicism has taught them that God is corrupt and cannot be trusted. But this is not true!!! God did not come in expensive clothing or royal garments. He did not come asking for money or mandating religious exercises. He did not come to enslave us to a law that we could not keep. He did not come to build decorative and ornate buildings. He did not come to teach men how to do good works. He came to set us free. He came to bring peace and hope. I tried my best to explain that a relationship with Jesus was unlike anything they had ever known…only God knows what they will remember. Carlos, a young man around 25 who sells insurance said to me, “I wish I could have what you have. But I do not believe in God. I do not see life the way you do. I try to be a good person and do good things for the sake of humanity. If I die, do you think that God will forgive me and let me go to heaven?” With great sorrow in my heart I shook my head…”No.” I explained that even if he believed in God it would not enough to grant him entrance into a holy place to live forever in the presence of a holy God. He needed the blood of Jesus to cover him. Right about this time Anita called out to me from the table she was sitting at nearby. They were discussing the movie that I lent to Rafael a few weeks ago, Amazing Grace. They wanted to hear the song and she told them I could sing…Thank you, Anita. So I sang the chorus aloud for everyone to hear. If only they truly knew the meaning of the words they were listening too. 

Oh Lord, I am so small. How can I make them see who you really are? What words can I say that will make them understand? With their own lips they told me that their hearts were hardened. I know that hearts are your specialty. Only you have the power to remove their heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Won’t you make your fame known in this place? Won’t you leave your throne to rescue them from themselves? Open their eyes to the problem of pain in their heart! I beg you because they do not know how to beg you themselves. I know you hear me, Lord. I know you love me. I know your love is unmistakable…won’t you show them that these words are true? I am thankful that your grace found me and that you did not leave me where I am. Give me boldness, Lord. Let my life mean something…don’t let me die without doing great things for you. I know my heart could not bear the weight of living without losing everything I am to your molding hands. You do change us…Thank God you are not satisfied until I am more like you every day. Until that great day when I will be made like you forever…I will long to be with you and behold you face to face. Is there anything more wonderful than being loved by you?

I am trying to be sensitive to what the Lord is saying to me while I am here…Many times I have thought about what my life might be like should I choose to become a resident of Valencia. I am praying about ministering here full-time but I want to know God’s direction. I know he has a plan and purpose for my time here. Pray that I will know fully what it is that he wants me to do to please him. Know that I love you all and miss you greatly.

Yare

Saturday’s are my favorite days in Valencia. The rush of the week has come to a close and stillness slips gently into the streets. The rain drizzles from time to time but I am dry nestled in my cozy Starbucks chair. Crowded voices chatter all around me but quietness has found my heart. So much has happened this week that has reminded me that there is no life without God. There are so many empty souls that wander these streets not knowing that their lives remain incomplete. If only I could entreat the Lord’s heart to open their eyes…will you hear me, Lord?

                My heart is heavy and my mind weighs many things. These are the days when I wish I could crawl into the Lord’s lap and just sit for awhile, listening to his heart beat. His arms around me are comforting and his invitation to trust him for today lingers in my ears.

                This week we visited with Hank and his wife, Nadine. Nadine has had many physical health issues for the past month. We have be praying that God would reveal what is going on with her.  She is very concerned that her husband cannot find a job. They have three children and two are still very young. He was able to get a small job cleaning for a couple at our church twice a week and has the prospect of picking oranges soon when the fields are ready for harvest. But this orange picking job only pays 15 Euros a day which does not include the money he will have to pay for transportation to the field.  It’s slave labor, really. What man can work for less than $20 a day for 8 hours and support a wife and three children?  We are all praying for God’s provision. However, Nadine needs to give her worries to the Lord. I reached down and grabbed an object and grasped it firmly in my hand then opened Hank’s hand to illustrate God’s hand extended to us. We explained that the objects we hold onto in our hearts are our cares and worries that our heavenly Father asks us to place in his hands. I also explained that God was a gentleman and would not force the object out of my hand. Only when I was willing, could I place the object in his hands to keep safely for me. When I think about this illustration, I know that the teacher has become the student yet again. I find my heart full, brimming over with uncertainty – and God’s hand lovingly before my little fingers, asking me to give up the weight that is so obviously too great for me to bear. I know there is no other way. My heart will know no peace until I do.

                Fear is such a powerful synthesis. Perhaps it is the greatest evil man has created. Our minds conceive its substance and form, continually feeding a beast we cannot control. I find myself needing to be rescued from its powerful grasp once again. Needing once more to be taught what it means to stand in awe rather than cower in anguish. All the while the humble Spirit of service stands beside us gently persisting, “Which will you choose: life or death?” This the pendulum upon which life hinges. This is the place I have found myself in today. I am reminded of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader when one of the main characters finds himself in a land where his greatest fears are manifested before him. The ship’s crew is warned of this strange island’s enchantments; however, the warning comes too late. Almost instantly, the murky waters begin to swirl around them and a giant sea serpent emerges. The entire crew finds themselves in a fight it seems they cannot win, when suddenly the main character remembers the truth that can grant him the victory he desires. He remembers that this being did not exist before his mind conceived it and therefore does not hold the power over him that he once had given it. God help me to remember that my fears have not been created by you. Thank you for your truth that rescues us from ourselves and the lies we allow to penetrate and paralyze our lives.

I stumbled upon this song in my reverie and have found it profound. The words are simple. Sometimes simplicity is the perfect presence for my many complexities. I hope you like it too.I attached the link if you want to listen to the song.

Afraid to love

Something that could break

Could I move on

If you were torn away

And I’m so close

To what I can’t control

I can’t give you half my heart

and pray he makes you whole

Chorus:

You’re gonna have all of me

You’re gonna have all of me

You’re worth every falling tear

You’re worth facing any fear

You’re gonna know all my love

Even if its not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me

Is where I’ll start

I won’t let sadness

Steal you from my arms

I won’t let pain

Keep you from my heart

I’ll trade the fear

Of all that I could lose

For every moment

I’ll share with you

Heaven brought me to this moment

It’s too wonderful to speak

You’re worth all of me

You’re worth all of me

So let me recklessly love you

Even if I bleed

You’re worth all of me

You’re worth all of me

Seeds of Hope

 I decided to take a break from my technological world for a few days. This should have been posted yesterday but alas- it was Sunday. Time to rest. Below is a brief detailing of last week- enjoy!

Monday night we visited with Hank and Nadine. Tuesday- we went to a language exchange at a local American establishment. Every Tuesday Spaniards can come from all over Valencia to sharpen their English skills. This week I spoke with Rafael “Rafa,” Lola, and Carlos. Rafael is a professor of economics at a university here in Valencia. Rafa speaks very well and recently finished a book that Anita had given him to read by Josh McDowell. I asked him to tell me about the book and we discussed the things that he did not agree with. These are the moments that you wish you had been paying more attention in Philosophy of Religion…Thankfully the Holy Spirit brought to mind a few key points that I thought would help. Like many Spaniards, Rafa is skeptical of religion and has been burned by religious authorities and institutes. Unfortunately, Catholicism has tainted the peoples trust, causing them to resent religion and shirk relationship. How can you gain someone’s trust if they have determined to never to open their heart to anyone again? Rafa does not believe that the canon of scripture is free from error. He is convinced that manuscripts can be easily edited and manipulated. However, I am not convinced that these questions validate Rafa’s mistrust. For even if his questions were sufficiently answered to his liking, he would not immediately fall down on his knees begging God to forgive him. I believe that his question serve as a protective barrier, constantly guarding his vulnerability. This is true for all of us. God is the Father of lights and in him there is no darkness at all. Even the darkness is light to him. It is not natural for any of us to run to the light when we sin. What did Adam and Eve do in the garden? They saw their nakedness (vulnerability in sin) and hid. We hide from God as a child hides from an angry parent. And just as the child needs to see that the parent who finds them will only lovingly discipline for their good, so we need to see that the God who finds us will do the same. By his own confession Rafa wants to believe in a higher being; however, he fears placing his vulnerability in Jesus hands will disappoint him just as everything else in this world has done before. God is patient and will draw him at whatever pace he chooses. I will talk with Rafa next week. I plan to lend him the movie Amazing Grace. I think it will serve an excellent historical narrative with which he can practice his English and learn a little something extra ;-) If you have not seen it, Amazing Grace is a powerful story about William Wilburforce and the abolition of the slave trade- EXCELLENT movie.

                Wednesday and Thursday I went to Mission Urbana to help out in the afternoon. On Wednesday afternoon the Mission serves “merienda” which is the Spanish term for an afternoon snack- Ha, it is one of the 5 times a day that they eat around here. They also sing worship songs and give a devotional message. On Thursday I went to the food distribution center (also operated by Mission Urbana) to learn how they operate. Upon first arriving in Spain, I saw the economic façade but the longer I am here the more I see the walls coming down. They refer to it as a crisis. The unemployment rate is about 20% so the Spanish government distributes food to the people through local missions and churches, etc. The government provides a small warehouse type building with no electricity and minimal structural furnishings.  My organization side LOVES it J I can restock my table and gather items on the lists…am I weird?? J After the sun set and we could work by the light of day no longer, I met Lea for tapas and ice cream. Lea goes to Chris and Anita’s church (where I will be attending while I am here) and is my age. Her father is one of the elders/pastors at the church. I really enjoyed talking with her…we made a deal- she speaks in Spanish and I in English – so we can both learn. It was a nice way to unwind from the long day.

Left to Right: Chris, Akin, Kebba, Sulemon, Anita, me

             Friday was Akin’s birthday. Akin is a new Christian from Nigeria. We celebrated by eating dinner and cake. We also got a chance to meet Akin’s friends: Kebba (Catholic from West Africa) and Sulemon (Muslim-Ghana). Anita asked Sulemon about his religion but he could not answer! When asked what would happen to him when he died, he replied, “I do not know.” We were able to talk to both of the men about Jesus and his death on the cross. They wanted to think about what they heard and each took Jesus films home with them. Pray that God would open their eyes and that they would answer the door to him as he knocks on their hearts.  

                Saturday- One of the pastor’s from Chris and Anita’s church came to talk with Hank about what it was like to become a Christian from a Muslim background. It was very powerful to witness…He said the Love was what drew him. It’s too bad there is such hatred and fear toward Muslims in our country…I can only imagine what would happen if we truly learned to love our enemies. With all of my heart I long for the day when I will fall on my face before the throne of God and my new friend will be beside me…then we can spend all eternity speaking the language of heaven.

Me with Charo and Anita

                On Sunday we went to church and later had dinner together with Charo- Anita’s best friend in Spain. I really enjoy listening to Charo- she has such a zest for life and a great sense of humor, too. Sadly, the blood Jesus’ spilt for her does not touch her heart. But! I found out that she and I have something in common- we both love to paint. She is a far better artist than I and uses oils rather than my preferred acrylics. I love to paint scenes from various scriptures. I imagine them and try my best to depict the scenes as true to their description as possible…with my own creative flare of course J. However, Charo only paints from pictures. I have asked her to teach me to paint with oils while I teach her to paint with her imagination. For some time now, I have wanted to paint the throne room as portrayed in Revelation. Since oil paintings require more patience and time to dry, I will have more time to talk with Charo about the Lord. Pray that as our brush strokes bring colorful life to a blank canvas, Jesus would gently stroke the blank canvas of her heart to create a beautiful new life in him.

Gosh, I miss you guys… but I LOVE what I have the privilege of doing here. Know that I carry you in my heart wherever I go and I think of you often. My only consolation is the eternity we will spend together where time and space cannot interfere with the wonderful stories we will have to share.

El Gozo de Dios

Today, I wished that you all could be with me. Anita and I went to study the Bible with Hank and Nadine (names changed for their protection). They recently renounced their faith in Allah to follow Isa (Jesus). In only a few short months Hank has read the ENTIRE Bible! Anita and I were shocked. Since I have only recently arrived in Spain, I was there to listen and observe the conversation in Spanish. Thank God I understood most of it. I cannot tell you how my heart overflowed with joy. I sat there-dumbfounded that the Lord could be so gracious to allow me to witness such a precious sight. Here was this man, with an insatiable desire for Truth, telling us that he studied the Bible every night (sometimes until 4am). I remembered my days when I first began to know the Lord and how precious they were to me- how precious they are to me still. As I listened to him ask questions and tell us of the scriptures in John that touched his heart, I felt the presence of God with us. I could only imagine the value of this sweet and fragrant offering before the throne of God. As my heart, too was touched by the witnessing the child-like faith before me, I knew that his heart’s humble cry to know Isa Messiah more touched our heavenly Father as well. Tears filled my eyes. This descendant of Ishmael, this enemy of God had been brought near by the blood of Jesus. His hunger and thirst for God is like none that I have ever seen. Thank you, Lord for allowing me to witness something so beautiful. You are so good to us. Your kindness is endearing to me and I love you. Oh my friends, this was truly a sight to behold. I am convinced that God has chosen him for time such as this. He has already traveled to other cities to tell his Muslim friends and family; RISKING REJECTION AND FACING IT! When we asked him how we could pray for him he answered, “más fe” or more faith. Only my God could do something so magnificent.
                                            

He read about the glory of God and asked what it meant. Anita tried to explain so that he could understand but he did not. He read the Arabic translation and explained what the word used for glory in his language meant. In his language, glory meant respect for people, being a good person, being a good citizen, etc. Glory equated to good works. Our word for this definition would be honor. Hank comes from an Honor/Shame based culture- a concept that our western minds do not grasp well. Since our culture emphasizes individuality, our actions do not reflect upon our parents/ family members in the same way. We can recognize a good family and easily understand if there are a few rebellious family members. After all, no family is perfect. No so in Arabic culture. The actions of a member of society reflect upon the rest of society. This is why Hank and Nadine are now considered infidels because of their newfound faith. They have shamed their family, Allah, Islam, and Muslims everywhere. His family no longer considers him alive because he has shamed the family. Occasionally, you may have heard of honor killings in the news. An honor killing is the practice of erasing or blotting out the shame that has been brought upon the family by another family member. This is the extremity of the importance of Honor and Shame in Middle Eastern Culture. Hank’s culture equates giving glory with giving honor or esteeming greatly by ones actions.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” –John 1:14

What do you think? How would you describe the word glory in this context? Is there a difference between giving glory to and beholding glory?

All I can say is I am in love. I could do this for the rest of my days and never grow weary of it. Our God knows our desires. Please allow him to lead you to yours. I thank God every day that he didn’t leave me lost in my disobedience. True peace and joy comes from obeying his commands. At the end of his life Solomon concluded, “Fear God and keep his commands.” I join him in pleading with you- if there is anything that your heavenly Father has asked of you- please know that it is only for your good. Stop struggling with him and surrender. He will take care of the rest. Do not live your life as an enemy of God, despising his kind words to you. Taste and see that the Lord is good.