Finally! I am writing a new post. I’m sorry I have not updated in over a week but I was sick for several days and was a little out of commission. This is my last week of language school! I am learning a lot but I am ready to be finished with school. I can hardly believe I have been here almost 4 weeks! There is so much to tell you I don’t know where to start. First let me say that I did consent to finally going to the doctor last Thursday…she gave me antibiotics and something for my congestion. I have to say that the overall experience was quite pleasant. The doctor’s office was very clean and the doctor spent a fair amount of time with me. Then on Monday I had to go to see the dentist because I was pretty sure I had some cavities…long story why I didn’t get that taken care of in the States…I know what you are thinking. But anyway I went and again- another pleasant experience. She saw me almost immediately, found the cavity and filled it. I don’t think I was even there an hour. OK- one more random experience then I will get to the point- I met a couple from Texas tonight at the language exchange and I was ELATED to say the least. Just being near them made me feel closer to that wonderful state. Haha- I’m sure you all will enjoy that. Rick here working for NATO and is about to retire. He and his wife Sarah will be moving back to Texas soon…Until I can return to the Lone Star State I will just have to live vicariously through them.
Now! On to more important things- Tonight, Anita and I went to the language exchange again. We were both a little discourage before we went in because the last time we were there (two weeks ago- I was sick and could not go last week and she stayed home to take care of me) it was very noisy and very difficult to hear the people- which makes it very difficult to talk about spiritual things. So before we went in we prayed and asked the Lord to give us boldness as well as an atmosphere in which we could speak about his love for the people. Anita is always telling me, “You have not because you ask not.” The Lord certainly answered our prayer!
I was so pleased with the conversations we had I could hardly stand it! I usually try to listen to the topics that the people talk about in order to better understand certain aspects of their character, as well as the cultural norms that they adhere to. One of the girls who was there a few weeks ago, Marian was talking about her time in London. She said that the people in the UK seem to drink constantly beyond enjoyment. I thought this was very interesting since drinking is so much a part of Spanish/ European culture. She explained that the people seemed to drink constantly and abundantly. The girl she stayed with surprised her because she was very serious during the week and became a completely different person on the weekends. Marian said that she would drink until she could drink no more and bring home a different strange man every night. And here is where I saw my opportunity. I asked Marian if she thought the girl’s behavior was a good thing. She replied that if it made the girl happy then it was fine with her- How sad. I persisted to ask if Marian would do the same thing and she said no. Then I shared my thoughts with the rest of the people sitting around us. They were all about 25-27 years old. I asked them why they thought the girl behaved this way-”maybe she likes it,” they answered. I shook my head in disbelief- no one who spends their life working every day of the week as one person and drinking and having sex with random strangers on the weekends as another person “likes” what they are doing. Their lives are empty and they are miserable. Apparently, the word miserable in Spanish is the same only pronounced differently. They could not believe the word carried the same meaning in both languages. The word must be very strong in Spanish. There is such a facade in Spain. The people acknowledge the economic crisis yet deny the spiritual crisis that exists in their hearts. They refuse to use words such as miserable because it uncovers the state they really live in. I told them that it was sad that they girl in London lived her life like that and proceeded to ask them what advice they might give to her. “Do you ever feel like this life is meaningless and repetitive?” Some of them nodded their heads. I certainly feel that way- but my only consolation is that someday I can be with my heavenly Father forever and that he gives me his words to sustain me for the moment. Everything else in this life is meaningless…didn’t a wise man say that once? Everything is vanity and chasing after the wind. At the end of his life he ascertained two things: Fear God and keep his commandments. Sitting with them in that moment, I thought about my own life. I thought about my dreams, my future, my family- all of them things that give meaning to my life. But none of them things are that truly satisfy my soul. At the end of the day, just as every man or woman, I feel the emptiness of life that this world offers. Jesus is the only being that separates me from the rest of the young men and women who sat around me tonight. In my heart I felt the frustration that came with trying to combat the distrust that Catholicism has brought to the hearts of the people. I tried to explain that religion was not the same as a relationship with Jesus. Religion is man’s attempt to get to God- but this can never be. God sent his son to us because he knew our arms could never reach the heights of his galaxies. Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except by me.” Catholicism has taught them that God is corrupt and cannot be trusted. But this is not true!!! God did not come in expensive clothing or royal garments. He did not come asking for money or mandating religious exercises. He did not come to enslave us to a law that we could not keep. He did not come to build decorative and ornate buildings. He did not come to teach men how to do good works. He came to set us free. He came to bring peace and hope. I tried my best to explain that a relationship with Jesus was unlike anything they had ever known…only God knows what they will remember. Carlos, a young man around 25 who sells insurance said to me, “I wish I could have what you have. But I do not believe in God. I do not see life the way you do. I try to be a good person and do good things for the sake of humanity. If I die, do you think that God will forgive me and let me go to heaven?” With great sorrow in my heart I shook my head…”No.” I explained that even if he believed in God it would not enough to grant him entrance into a holy place to live forever in the presence of a holy God. He needed the blood of Jesus to cover him. Right about this time Anita called out to me from the table she was sitting at nearby. They were discussing the movie that I lent to Rafael a few weeks ago, Amazing Grace. They wanted to hear the song and she told them I could sing…Thank you, Anita. So I sang the chorus aloud for everyone to hear. If only they truly knew the meaning of the words they were listening too.
Oh Lord, I am so small. How can I make them see who you really are? What words can I say that will make them understand? With their own lips they told me that their hearts were hardened. I know that hearts are your specialty. Only you have the power to remove their heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Won’t you make your fame known in this place? Won’t you leave your throne to rescue them from themselves? Open their eyes to the problem of pain in their heart! I beg you because they do not know how to beg you themselves. I know you hear me, Lord. I know you love me. I know your love is unmistakable…won’t you show them that these words are true? I am thankful that your grace found me and that you did not leave me where I am. Give me boldness, Lord. Let my life mean something…don’t let me die without doing great things for you. I know my heart could not bear the weight of living without losing everything I am to your molding hands. You do change us…Thank God you are not satisfied until I am more like you every day. Until that great day when I will be made like you forever…I will long to be with you and behold you face to face. Is there anything more wonderful than being loved by you?
I am trying to be sensitive to what the Lord is saying to me while I am here…Many times I have thought about what my life might be like should I choose to become a resident of Valencia. I am praying about ministering here full-time but I want to know God’s direction. I know he has a plan and purpose for my time here. Pray that I will know fully what it is that he wants me to do to please him. Know that I love you all and miss you greatly.
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