Yare

Saturday’s are my favorite days in Valencia. The rush of the week has come to a close and stillness slips gently into the streets. The rain drizzles from time to time but I am dry nestled in my cozy Starbucks chair. Crowded voices chatter all around me but quietness has found my heart. So much has happened this week that has reminded me that there is no life without God. There are so many empty souls that wander these streets not knowing that their lives remain incomplete. If only I could entreat the Lord’s heart to open their eyes…will you hear me, Lord?

                My heart is heavy and my mind weighs many things. These are the days when I wish I could crawl into the Lord’s lap and just sit for awhile, listening to his heart beat. His arms around me are comforting and his invitation to trust him for today lingers in my ears.

                This week we visited with Hank and his wife, Nadine. Nadine has had many physical health issues for the past month. We have be praying that God would reveal what is going on with her.  She is very concerned that her husband cannot find a job. They have three children and two are still very young. He was able to get a small job cleaning for a couple at our church twice a week and has the prospect of picking oranges soon when the fields are ready for harvest. But this orange picking job only pays 15 Euros a day which does not include the money he will have to pay for transportation to the field.  It’s slave labor, really. What man can work for less than $20 a day for 8 hours and support a wife and three children?  We are all praying for God’s provision. However, Nadine needs to give her worries to the Lord. I reached down and grabbed an object and grasped it firmly in my hand then opened Hank’s hand to illustrate God’s hand extended to us. We explained that the objects we hold onto in our hearts are our cares and worries that our heavenly Father asks us to place in his hands. I also explained that God was a gentleman and would not force the object out of my hand. Only when I was willing, could I place the object in his hands to keep safely for me. When I think about this illustration, I know that the teacher has become the student yet again. I find my heart full, brimming over with uncertainty – and God’s hand lovingly before my little fingers, asking me to give up the weight that is so obviously too great for me to bear. I know there is no other way. My heart will know no peace until I do.

                Fear is such a powerful synthesis. Perhaps it is the greatest evil man has created. Our minds conceive its substance and form, continually feeding a beast we cannot control. I find myself needing to be rescued from its powerful grasp once again. Needing once more to be taught what it means to stand in awe rather than cower in anguish. All the while the humble Spirit of service stands beside us gently persisting, “Which will you choose: life or death?” This the pendulum upon which life hinges. This is the place I have found myself in today. I am reminded of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader when one of the main characters finds himself in a land where his greatest fears are manifested before him. The ship’s crew is warned of this strange island’s enchantments; however, the warning comes too late. Almost instantly, the murky waters begin to swirl around them and a giant sea serpent emerges. The entire crew finds themselves in a fight it seems they cannot win, when suddenly the main character remembers the truth that can grant him the victory he desires. He remembers that this being did not exist before his mind conceived it and therefore does not hold the power over him that he once had given it. God help me to remember that my fears have not been created by you. Thank you for your truth that rescues us from ourselves and the lies we allow to penetrate and paralyze our lives.

I stumbled upon this song in my reverie and have found it profound. The words are simple. Sometimes simplicity is the perfect presence for my many complexities. I hope you like it too.I attached the link if you want to listen to the song.

Afraid to love

Something that could break

Could I move on

If you were torn away

And I’m so close

To what I can’t control

I can’t give you half my heart

and pray he makes you whole

Chorus:

You’re gonna have all of me

You’re gonna have all of me

You’re worth every falling tear

You’re worth facing any fear

You’re gonna know all my love

Even if its not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me

Is where I’ll start

I won’t let sadness

Steal you from my arms

I won’t let pain

Keep you from my heart

I’ll trade the fear

Of all that I could lose

For every moment

I’ll share with you

Heaven brought me to this moment

It’s too wonderful to speak

You’re worth all of me

You’re worth all of me

So let me recklessly love you

Even if I bleed

You’re worth all of me

You’re worth all of me

Seeds of Hope

 I decided to take a break from my technological world for a few days. This should have been posted yesterday but alas- it was Sunday. Time to rest. Below is a brief detailing of last week- enjoy!

Monday night we visited with Hank and Nadine. Tuesday- we went to a language exchange at a local American establishment. Every Tuesday Spaniards can come from all over Valencia to sharpen their English skills. This week I spoke with Rafael “Rafa,” Lola, and Carlos. Rafael is a professor of economics at a university here in Valencia. Rafa speaks very well and recently finished a book that Anita had given him to read by Josh McDowell. I asked him to tell me about the book and we discussed the things that he did not agree with. These are the moments that you wish you had been paying more attention in Philosophy of Religion…Thankfully the Holy Spirit brought to mind a few key points that I thought would help. Like many Spaniards, Rafa is skeptical of religion and has been burned by religious authorities and institutes. Unfortunately, Catholicism has tainted the peoples trust, causing them to resent religion and shirk relationship. How can you gain someone’s trust if they have determined to never to open their heart to anyone again? Rafa does not believe that the canon of scripture is free from error. He is convinced that manuscripts can be easily edited and manipulated. However, I am not convinced that these questions validate Rafa’s mistrust. For even if his questions were sufficiently answered to his liking, he would not immediately fall down on his knees begging God to forgive him. I believe that his question serve as a protective barrier, constantly guarding his vulnerability. This is true for all of us. God is the Father of lights and in him there is no darkness at all. Even the darkness is light to him. It is not natural for any of us to run to the light when we sin. What did Adam and Eve do in the garden? They saw their nakedness (vulnerability in sin) and hid. We hide from God as a child hides from an angry parent. And just as the child needs to see that the parent who finds them will only lovingly discipline for their good, so we need to see that the God who finds us will do the same. By his own confession Rafa wants to believe in a higher being; however, he fears placing his vulnerability in Jesus hands will disappoint him just as everything else in this world has done before. God is patient and will draw him at whatever pace he chooses. I will talk with Rafa next week. I plan to lend him the movie Amazing Grace. I think it will serve an excellent historical narrative with which he can practice his English and learn a little something extra ;-) If you have not seen it, Amazing Grace is a powerful story about William Wilburforce and the abolition of the slave trade- EXCELLENT movie.

                Wednesday and Thursday I went to Mission Urbana to help out in the afternoon. On Wednesday afternoon the Mission serves “merienda” which is the Spanish term for an afternoon snack- Ha, it is one of the 5 times a day that they eat around here. They also sing worship songs and give a devotional message. On Thursday I went to the food distribution center (also operated by Mission Urbana) to learn how they operate. Upon first arriving in Spain, I saw the economic façade but the longer I am here the more I see the walls coming down. They refer to it as a crisis. The unemployment rate is about 20% so the Spanish government distributes food to the people through local missions and churches, etc. The government provides a small warehouse type building with no electricity and minimal structural furnishings.  My organization side LOVES it J I can restock my table and gather items on the lists…am I weird?? J After the sun set and we could work by the light of day no longer, I met Lea for tapas and ice cream. Lea goes to Chris and Anita’s church (where I will be attending while I am here) and is my age. Her father is one of the elders/pastors at the church. I really enjoyed talking with her…we made a deal- she speaks in Spanish and I in English – so we can both learn. It was a nice way to unwind from the long day.

Left to Right: Chris, Akin, Kebba, Sulemon, Anita, me

             Friday was Akin’s birthday. Akin is a new Christian from Nigeria. We celebrated by eating dinner and cake. We also got a chance to meet Akin’s friends: Kebba (Catholic from West Africa) and Sulemon (Muslim-Ghana). Anita asked Sulemon about his religion but he could not answer! When asked what would happen to him when he died, he replied, “I do not know.” We were able to talk to both of the men about Jesus and his death on the cross. They wanted to think about what they heard and each took Jesus films home with them. Pray that God would open their eyes and that they would answer the door to him as he knocks on their hearts.  

                Saturday- One of the pastor’s from Chris and Anita’s church came to talk with Hank about what it was like to become a Christian from a Muslim background. It was very powerful to witness…He said the Love was what drew him. It’s too bad there is such hatred and fear toward Muslims in our country…I can only imagine what would happen if we truly learned to love our enemies. With all of my heart I long for the day when I will fall on my face before the throne of God and my new friend will be beside me…then we can spend all eternity speaking the language of heaven.

Me with Charo and Anita

                On Sunday we went to church and later had dinner together with Charo- Anita’s best friend in Spain. I really enjoy listening to Charo- she has such a zest for life and a great sense of humor, too. Sadly, the blood Jesus’ spilt for her does not touch her heart. But! I found out that she and I have something in common- we both love to paint. She is a far better artist than I and uses oils rather than my preferred acrylics. I love to paint scenes from various scriptures. I imagine them and try my best to depict the scenes as true to their description as possible…with my own creative flare of course J. However, Charo only paints from pictures. I have asked her to teach me to paint with oils while I teach her to paint with her imagination. For some time now, I have wanted to paint the throne room as portrayed in Revelation. Since oil paintings require more patience and time to dry, I will have more time to talk with Charo about the Lord. Pray that as our brush strokes bring colorful life to a blank canvas, Jesus would gently stroke the blank canvas of her heart to create a beautiful new life in him.

Gosh, I miss you guys… but I LOVE what I have the privilege of doing here. Know that I carry you in my heart wherever I go and I think of you often. My only consolation is the eternity we will spend together where time and space cannot interfere with the wonderful stories we will have to share.

El Gozo de Dios

Today, I wished that you all could be with me. Anita and I went to study the Bible with Hank and Nadine (names changed for their protection). They recently renounced their faith in Allah to follow Isa (Jesus). In only a few short months Hank has read the ENTIRE Bible! Anita and I were shocked. Since I have only recently arrived in Spain, I was there to listen and observe the conversation in Spanish. Thank God I understood most of it. I cannot tell you how my heart overflowed with joy. I sat there-dumbfounded that the Lord could be so gracious to allow me to witness such a precious sight. Here was this man, with an insatiable desire for Truth, telling us that he studied the Bible every night (sometimes until 4am). I remembered my days when I first began to know the Lord and how precious they were to me- how precious they are to me still. As I listened to him ask questions and tell us of the scriptures in John that touched his heart, I felt the presence of God with us. I could only imagine the value of this sweet and fragrant offering before the throne of God. As my heart, too was touched by the witnessing the child-like faith before me, I knew that his heart’s humble cry to know Isa Messiah more touched our heavenly Father as well. Tears filled my eyes. This descendant of Ishmael, this enemy of God had been brought near by the blood of Jesus. His hunger and thirst for God is like none that I have ever seen. Thank you, Lord for allowing me to witness something so beautiful. You are so good to us. Your kindness is endearing to me and I love you. Oh my friends, this was truly a sight to behold. I am convinced that God has chosen him for time such as this. He has already traveled to other cities to tell his Muslim friends and family; RISKING REJECTION AND FACING IT! When we asked him how we could pray for him he answered, “más fe” or more faith. Only my God could do something so magnificent.
                                            

He read about the glory of God and asked what it meant. Anita tried to explain so that he could understand but he did not. He read the Arabic translation and explained what the word used for glory in his language meant. In his language, glory meant respect for people, being a good person, being a good citizen, etc. Glory equated to good works. Our word for this definition would be honor. Hank comes from an Honor/Shame based culture- a concept that our western minds do not grasp well. Since our culture emphasizes individuality, our actions do not reflect upon our parents/ family members in the same way. We can recognize a good family and easily understand if there are a few rebellious family members. After all, no family is perfect. No so in Arabic culture. The actions of a member of society reflect upon the rest of society. This is why Hank and Nadine are now considered infidels because of their newfound faith. They have shamed their family, Allah, Islam, and Muslims everywhere. His family no longer considers him alive because he has shamed the family. Occasionally, you may have heard of honor killings in the news. An honor killing is the practice of erasing or blotting out the shame that has been brought upon the family by another family member. This is the extremity of the importance of Honor and Shame in Middle Eastern Culture. Hank’s culture equates giving glory with giving honor or esteeming greatly by ones actions.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” –John 1:14

What do you think? How would you describe the word glory in this context? Is there a difference between giving glory to and beholding glory?

All I can say is I am in love. I could do this for the rest of my days and never grow weary of it. Our God knows our desires. Please allow him to lead you to yours. I thank God every day that he didn’t leave me lost in my disobedience. True peace and joy comes from obeying his commands. At the end of his life Solomon concluded, “Fear God and keep his commands.” I join him in pleading with you- if there is anything that your heavenly Father has asked of you- please know that it is only for your good. Stop struggling with him and surrender. He will take care of the rest. Do not live your life as an enemy of God, despising his kind words to you. Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Hola de Espana!

I arrived in Spain on Thursday afternoon- just in time for a siesta :-)
Every day from 2-5 the Spaniards go home for lunch and a nap. I found out that most of the businesses do not reopen after siesta so there is only a short window for making purchases. Friday was a very busy day. Anita and I went to the city to get various items that I will need while I am here. Lots of walking...I'm still not over the jet-lag. Life here is similar and yet very different. The streets are littered with trash at the end of the day and every morning machines are used to sweep and clean them. Apparently, there are no laws against littering here. The city was very intriguing but it was a little much to take into my sleepy brain.
       The Lord has shown much favor to me on my journey. On my flight to Madrid, I was fortunate to find myself sitting next to a very jovial Frenchman. I know what you're thinking...I didn't know such things existed either. He was very kind. I learned that he loved the US and was returning home from a vacation in- get this- Oklahoma City and Kansas.... Not exactly my idea of a vacation but oh well. He spoke well but there were many words that we needed a translating tool in order to understand each other. He said that he loved Country Westerns and Country music. He also informed me that he was the president of a country dance club in his local village in France. Needless to say, he was an anomaly. He completely shattered every preconceived idea that I have every had about the French. I was delighted to talk with him. He shared that Europe was a dark place and that his country frowned upon patriotism. I was heart-broken when he said he longed to live in the US to one day openly practice patriotism. He also surprised me by saying that the primary religion in France is Christianity. He said that he followed Jesus but I knew from his words that he did not have a relationship with him. He said that it was the religion of his parents and that he did not believe that Jesus was the only way to God. Sadly, he believes that respecting others and doing good things will "hopefully" grant his safe passage to heaven. I told him the story of Creation and with the help of an electronic translator, I believe he understood. I tried to explain that even though sin entered the world, God made a plan to save all men from an eternal death. I also explained God's holiness and that even our best could never measure up. This is the part where I knew I was losing him. These were English words that he had not heard before. Please pray that the seed that I planted will be watered by other believers. He gave me his card and invited me to visit he and his wife in France anytime. He is a retired baker of 21 years...I wish he could taste the bread of life.
        My flight to Valencia was only 45 minutes and ironically, I sat by a Pakistani American. He was returning home from NY. He moved to Valencia recently with his wife (a native Valencian) and was very kind to help me with information about the city. Finally, I arrived and met with Chris and Anita. They took me to Lydia's and we had lunch. By this time I was really feeling the time change (2pm Valencia time=7am Central time) so I took a shower and hit the rack.

          Thank you all for praying while I traveled. I asked the Lord- as I always do when traveling- to lift up the plane and put it down where it needed to be. He answered me :-) Pray for revival in Valencia. As I traveled around the city yesterday I was awakened to the hopelessness and desperation these people are experiencing. They wear many masks of happiness but they have no real joy. Many faces are somber in the streets. Remember the hope that you have and treasure it. There is no life without hope. There is much noise here and very few places to find quietness and rest. Amidst the noise the people of Valencia need to be still and know that he is God. Below is photo of the flower stands in the plaza- they are beautiful, no?